


My Love

by thewinterangel



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:06:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2795753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewinterangel/pseuds/thewinterangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harvey's life couldn't have been better; engagements were announced, and the wedding was in less than a week. Everything was perfect, they were happy. </p><p>But it only took one phone call, and it was all gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It would be best if you listened to Sia's ''My love'' while reading. It inspired me to write this in the first place. 
> 
> Warnings: terminal illness, lots of sadness, some slightly gross scenes.

The thing Harvey hated the most was the noise of rain on his windows. It was pouring outside. The sky looked as if the world was ending, lightnings and thunders everywhere. Every once in a while a bright flash would light up Harvey's apartment, causing every electric object to malfunction. The fact that it was a week until Christmas didn't help either; it was very cold. The night wasn't in Harvey's liking. Despite his hate for the rain, at least there was one good thing that he could hang on to; Mike and him were officially engaged. The amount of happiness and solitude he felt was indescribable. Who would've thought he would end up marrying his associate, the boy who ran into his office with a suitcase full of pot, the boy who didn't even go to any law school, the boy who ended up being the best thing that ever happened to him. It's been six months since Mike moved in with Harvey. Those were pretty much the best six months of his life. And now he has the whole eternity to spend with Mike. His Mike.

Harvey sat down on the couch, trying to find a channel that was working, but he had no luck. The lightnings outside were too frequent, and it messed his antennas up. But right as he turned the TV off, the front door opened.

''Hey, I'm back!'', it was Mike. Harvey turned his head.

''You alive? It's the freaking apocalypse out there.'', he said, pointing at the window. Mike walked over to the counter in their kitchen, putting down soaking wet bags from the store. He wasn't any dryer either; water was dripping off of his jacket, and his face looked like someone splashed him.

''Coming from a guy who's sitting in his warm, dry apartment.'', Mike raised his eyebrow and laughed. He took his shoes off right away, to prevent getting the floor wet more than he already did.

''Hey, you're the one who volounteered to run to the store.'', Harvey replied, as ge got off the couch, walking over to Mike.

''Well, that's a thing nice people do, Harvey. You could try it once in a while.'', Mike bent down to place his soaking wet shoes right next to the front door, but when he straightened up and turned, he found Harvey leaned on the wall right in front of him.

''Naah, that's what I've got you for.'', he said, placing one hand on Mike's waist and the other behind his head, pulling him in for a kiss. Mike snickered beneath it, pushing him away.

''Stop it, I gotta change into something dry, or else you'll be the one going to the store and taking care of lil' ol' sick me.'', Mike said, with a smile present on his face the whole time. He smuggled out of Harvey's hold and tried to take a step forward, but Harvey was still holding his sleeve.

''Come ooon, I'll be quick this time.'', Harvey pleaded, tugging Mike's sleeve. Mike laughed again.

''Aren't you always?'', he said, taking a step back and kissing Harvey on the cheek. Harvey's mouth dropped.

''Okay, that's low.'', he replied, earning himself a loud laugh from Mike.

''Alright, fine. But it's your fault if I start sneezing.'', Mike said, closing the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Harvey's neck.

''That's what I like to hear.''

 

 

The next day was less of a nuisance; the sun was out, even though it was still chilly. Mike had already gone to work. He's still the associate, and he hated to be late for work. Harvey, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind it at all. It was 9 am and he was still in his bed. Jessica won't mind, Mike always does an excellent job at finishing both his and Harvey's work. Mike _was_ his fiancee, but he was also his boss. And this was just one of the many perks of being someone's boss.

Harvey got up, got dressed and headed out. Ray was already outside, waiting leaned on the hood of the car. He politely nodded and handed Harvey his paper and coffee, getting a new CD in return.

The ride to the office was short, the traffic was not busy at all. Harvey came to the office at 9:50, and nobody said a word. He was walking towards his office, still holding his coffee. 

''Morning, stud.'', Donna said, smirking behind her desk.

''I don't wanna hear it.'', Harvey warned her, but returned the smile anyway. Just as he thought he would get some time to drink his coffee in peace, Donna stepped in his office, crossing her arms on her chest. Harvey rolled his eyes and sat down in his chair.

''What now? And don't tell me I'm being ' _too hard_ ' on the boy, because it's still his job to do all these things. And frankly, I don't give a damn about what you have to say about that.'', Harvey shot out, taking a sip of his coffee. Donna raised her eyebrow.

''Wow, somebody's on their period.'', she said with a grin on her face. Harvey struck her with a sharp look.

''What do you want, Donna?''

''Listen, I've been thinking-''

''Oh, that's never good.'', Harvey interrupted, earning himself a 'how dare you' glare from Donna.

''As I was saying,'' she continued, rolling her eyes, ''I wanted to ask you if I could plan out your wedding.''

Harvey took another sip, and then squinted his eyes, observing Donna.

''What's in it for you?''

''Oh for Christ's sake, Harvey, can't I just be a good friend and do this for you?'', she said, this time being serious. Harvey took a moment before opening his eyes again.

''Fine. I guess I trust you enough to do this.'', he said, acting that he's being doubtful, but his smile at the end proved that act wrong. Donna smiled widely.

''Thank you. You'll be married on the 25th of December.'', she blurted out, turning around as she started walking away. Of course, Harvey's choke on the coffee stopped her.

''Whoa whoa, Christmas? Really?? Why?'', Harvey asked, reaching for a tissue because he spilled a little coffee on his desk. ''How will you even manage to plan a wedding in less than a week?''

''I'm Donna, I can do everything. And besides, it's Mike's favorite holiday, so I figured it would be beautiful if you two got married on his favorite day.'', Donna said, with a soft expression on her face. But when she recieved Harvey's look of ignorance, that expression got sharper by the second.

''Please tell me you knew it was his favorite day.'', she begged, her eyes wide open in disbelief. Harvey tensed up; he waved his head, clearly feeling guilty. Donna slammed her face with her palm.

''Wow, I'd say Mike's a lucky guy, but you're making it hard for me.'', she said, turning on her heel and exiting his office. Right as he was about to shout something back at her, he saw Mike approaching. 

''Hey, Donna.'', Mike greeted, holding some files in his hands.

''Hello Mike. Hey,'', she stopped him, ''guess who's your wedding planner.''

Mike frowned in confusion. ''Uh... Louis?'', his frown increased, being horrified by the idea of Louis planning their wedding. Donna gasped.

''No! Guess again.''

''I don't know, Jessica?'', Mike tried again, shrugging his shoulders. Donna looked devastated.

''Are you kidding me? Me, Mike, _me_!!'', she was frustrated. Mike stood there with an expressionless face, only to burst out laughing five seconds later. Donna was confused, and her frown only grew more when Mike kissed her on the cheek.

''I know, I'm just messing with you. I told Harvey to ask you if you'll plan it for us!'', Mike said, smiling from ear to ear. Donna gasped again, turning to look at Harvey, who innocently shrug his shoulders. She turned back to Mike and grinned.

''I'm gonna go crazy with you two around, I swear to God...'', she said, as Mike patted her on her shoulder and continued to Harvey's office.

''You're gonna get so screwed one day, and she's gonna be the one to screw you.'', Mike said, pointing at Donna with a smile. Harvey waved his head.

''That's why I always screw her first.'', he said, leaning on his desk. Right as Mike was about to say something, he sneezed. Harvey frowned and smiled at the same time.

''Oh come on, don't tell me you caught a cold from yesterday.''

''I highly doubt it, 'cause you were _really_ quick.'', Mike said with a smile and sniffed. Harvey was about to get back at him, but his intercome turned on.

'' _Harvey, Harvey. I thought you were a bigger man than that_.'', the voice from the intercome was obviously Donna's, and Mike laughed loudly. Harvey looked as if he's gonna explode. Mike noticed Harvey's face and got closer to the intercome, still with a smile.

''I think we've done it for today, Donna, he's gonna burst into flames if we don't stop now.'', Mike said.

'' _Aaw but I was just starting to have fun._ '', Donna replied. Mike stepped back and raised his eyebrow at Harvey. 

''You always screw her first, huh?'', he laughed again, Harvey still not smiling.

''Get out.'', Harvey demanded, pointing to the door. Mike laughed again.

''Oh come ooon, don't be a sore sport!'', he said, and noticed the slight sign of a smile on Harvey's mouth. Mike jumped and pointed directly at Harvey's face. ''Ha, see, you're smiling too!''

''Out!'', Harvey yelled, but his poker face broke, now grinning from ear to ear himself.

 

 

It was half past two. Everyone was still at work. But lunch time was in fifteen minutes, so they had something to look forward to. Mike finally finished reading all of the files that Harvey gave him. He headed off to Harvey's office again, since they said they would meet for lunch. But as he was walking, his head started aching. He shook his head to pull it together, it was probably because he spent the whole morning reading one file after another. He felt chills go through his spine; suddenly he felt really cold. He must've really worn himself out. But it was weird, he never got a headache from too much reading.

''Hey, ready?'', he said as he reached Harvey's office. Harvey closed his laptop and got up, buttoning his suit.

''Yeah, let's go.'', he said and approached Mike, now both walking towards the elevators. Mike stopped for a moment and clenched his eyes, catching his head with his hands. Harvey stopped as well and frowned at the sight.

''You okay?'', Harvey asked, rarely seeing Mike like this.

''My head is killing me..'', Mike said, his eyes still closed, now trying to massage his head. Harvey came closer and placed his palm on Mike's forehead.

''Fuck, you're burning up.'', Harvey said, now feeling his cheek and neck; he was bascially on fire. Mike opened his eyes and looked at him.

''But I was perfectly fine this morning..'', he said, but immediately closed his eyes, his head hurt too much. 

''Come on, I'm gonna call Ray to take you home.'', Harvey said, pulling him by his waist, but Mike protested. 

''No, I'm fine, I'll stay, it's probably just a cold, I can-'', Mike started, but grabbed his head again. ''I can work..''

''Yeah, sure, whatever you say. Now stop messing around, you're going home.'', Harvey was still frowning. They walked over to the elevators, and Harvey pulled his cellphone out to call Ray. By the time they were at the lobby, Ray was already there; turns out he was right around the corner. Mike finally got a break from his headache and was able to open his eyes and walk without holding his head. They got out of the building and Harvey approached Ray.

''Ray, I need you to take him home, I can't go with him, but I'll send someone over. Until that someone arrives, stay with him, just in case.'', Harvey's face was serious and calm, but it was rather obvious he was hiding worry under it all. Ray nodded and smiled.

''Consider it done.'', he said and walked to the other side of the car to get behind the wheel. Mike was still standing, turned to Harvey.

''Seriously, I'm fine, my head isn't even hurting anymore.'', he said, trying to get back to work.

''Will you stop worrying about the job and just worry about yourself for once?'', Harvey's voice revealed a bit of the worry he was hiding. Mike looked him in the eyes and finally nodded.

''Good.'', Harvey said and sighed. He gently held Mike's head and kissed his forehead. ''I'll be home early, just take care.'', he opened the door of the car and Mike got in. Ray drove off, and Harvey didn't move from his spot until he couldn't see them anymore.

 

 

''Donna, I need you to stop doing whatever you're doing and go to my place.'', Harvey said, finally reaching his office again.

''I'm making plans for the wedding.'', Donna said, but then frowned. ''Everything okay?''

''Mike's burning up. He keeps claiming that he's fine and yet he almost fainted from the headache he had. I need you to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.'', he explained, entering his office in a hurry. Donna got up and grabbed her bag without any questions, heading straight for the elevators. Meanwhile, Harvey collected a file from his desk and headed for Jessica's office. 

''Jessica, got a minute?''

Jessica was sitting at her desk, going through some papers. ''What can I do for you, Harvey?''

''Here are the files on the Remmington case, Mike finished it all. Now that that's finished, I need to go home earlier today.'', he said, placing the file down on her desk. She raised her eyes on Harvey.

''What's so important that you have to leave early?'', she asked with a questioning look.

''Let's just say it's an emergency.'', he said, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Jessica raised an eyebrow.

''You know, I saw Donna rush out a minute ago. Haven't seen Mike either. What kind of an emergency is this?'', Jessica put the papers down and stood up, crossing her hands on her chest. Harvey sighed, already a little annoyed.

''Mike's sick. He's an idiot who just wants to work, but he doesn't understand that he could only get worse if he doesn't rest.'', Harvey spread his hands. ''Satisfied?''

Jessica's face turned from curious to calm. ''Well since you finished the files, you can go. But Harvey,'', she looked at his eyes, ''do make it on time tomorrow.''

Harvey smiled shyly and nodded, rushing out of the office to meet with a client and then go home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of crying. For extra effect, listen to Sia's ''My Love'' on repeat.

Mike was lying on the couch, with a cold wet rag over his forehead. He already took two pills for his headache; didn't help. All he could do now was lay down and keep his eyes closed, because the pain wouldn't stop. Donna was sitting on a chair right next to Mike's head next to the couch. She was watching TV on silent, since Mike could hear even the slightest sound, and it bothered him a lot. Every once in a while she got up, took the wet rag off and soaked it again, placing it back on his head. Everything seemed pretty good. Until Mike woke up with a sharp inhale, as if he was struggling for breath. Donna jumped and pulled his torso up straight.

''Mike, hey hey hey, it's okay!'', she panicked a bit. She started rubbing his back, relaxing him. Mike took a few deep breaths, but as he tried to take one more he coughed. It was a dry cough, Donna thought that maybe a drop of saliva messed everything up. But he just kept going, he couldn't stop. His hand flew up on his chest, grabbing his shirt as if his chest hurt. With her hand on his back, she could feel his body shiver. Not knowing what else to do, Donna rushed over to the counter, filled a glass of water and ran back to Mike, handing him the glass. Mike took it and managed to swallow a couple of times; coughing and drinking at the same time is not easy at all. Finally, it helped, and he calmed down, turning his head to Donna.

''Thanks... Thought I was gonna choke.'', Mike said, wiping his mouth. Donna was stroking his head, taking deep breaths herself.

''Don't you ever do that to me again, you hear me?'', she threatened, smiling right afterwards. Mike snickered and relaxed back on the couch.

Half an hour later Mike was asleep, and Donna was still staring at the mute TV, holding her hand on Mike's temple. She was still switching the channels, there was nothing interesting on. But then she heard some noises. They were coming from the front door; it was Harvey unlocking the door. She slowly removed her hand from Mike and stood up, walking barefoot towards the door, crossing her hands. Harvey came in, nodding towards her as a greeting. But she just kept her hands crossed, her face filled with worry.

''What's wrong?'', Harvey noticed Donna's expression, knowing that she doesn't get easily alarmed.

''Mike's not well, Harvey.'', she said, looking at his confsued eyes.

''I know, that's why I sent him home, he has a fever.'', Harvey said, taking off his coat and scarf. Donna sighed.

''No, it's not just that. He was resting and suddenly woke up, fighting for breath. And it just kept going and going... I straightened him up, but he didn't stop. Only when I brought him water he managed to stop. And he was gripping on his shirt while he was coughing. He looked like he was going through so much pain. He even told me he thought he was going to choke.'', Donna explained. Harvey felt a wave of worry cross his whole body, but he managed to keep it together. His mind was overflown with all kinds of thoughts.

Maybe it's just an ordinary cold and Donna was panicking for nothing.

Maybe it's something more serious and it should be checked out.

Maybe it'll pass in two days.

Maybe it'll leave heavy consequences.

Harvey ran his hand over his face, taking a deep breath. ''Okay, thank you Donna, you're free to go.'', he said, feeling his insides shake. Right as he was going to pass next to her, she grabbed his hand.

''If you need anything, anything at all, just call me. Okay?'', she said, her voice full of sympathy. Harvey looked into her eyes and smiled through his fear; he pulled her in and hugged her.

''He's gonna be fine, don't you worry.'', Harvey's voice was very soothing. Donna relaxed in his arms, feeling a bit better.

''Okay, well then, the wedding planning may be continued? 'Cause I'm on a very short notice here.'', she joked silently, separating herself from Harvey and putting her heels back on. Harvey laughed quietly.

''You asked for it. Now make it happen.'', he said, winking at her. She picked her coat and bag up, and left.

Harvey walked over to Mike; he looked like an angel. His hair was messy and his shirt was half up his chest. Harvey bent over the couch back and pulled his shirt down, to prevent him from catching something worse. He was standing there, leaned on the couch, just observing Mike's peaceful sleeping face. Without noticing, Harvey was standing there for more than half an hour. Mike twisted and turned a couple of times, and everytime he did, Harvey observed him carefully to make sure nothing was hurting him.

Suddenly, Mike opened his eyes and sat straight up, grabbing his shirt again, coughing. Harvey twitched and immediatelly ran over to the other side. Mike was coughing hard, one hand on his chest and the other on his mouth. The sound of it was horrible, he was literally staying out of breath. Harvey remembered what Donna did, and he rushed into the kitchen to get him a glass of water again. But by the time he got back, Mike stopped coughing. Harvey ran over with the glass of water and looked at Mike; he held his hand in front of him and just kept staring at it.

''Mike, hey, what's-'', Harvey started, but as he looked down at Mike's hand, he froze. Blood. Mike's palm was sprayed with blood.

The sound of breaking glass made them both twitch. Harvey dropped the glass of water, and the floor was filled with little pieces of shattered glass, surrounded by a puddle of water.

None of that mattered, though. Mike coughed up blood.

This was bad.

 

 

Two days before Christmas. Harvey was late for work again. But it was only because he was leaving instructions to Mike about how much rest he needs to get, and how he can't leave the house alone. His health didn't get worse in the past few days, he just felt a bit tired. He smiled at Harvey weakly and said he'd be fine alone. Harvey grabbed him into a long tight hug, not wanting to let go, but he had a meeting, and he had to go. It was noon when he left the house, and he told Donna that she could leave work at 1pm to visit Mike, to see if he needs anything.

The meeting went well, he managed to close the deal with the Remmington firm, and his day was already better. The Remmingtons were a big fish, and it was no easy task to get them to settle. A lot of partners thought he couldn't do it. They said it was impossible. Even Jessica doubted it. But this was proof that even if something seems impossible, there's always a way out of it. Harvey was proud of himself, walking out of the Remmington building light as a feather. The day was beautiful, unlike three nights ago when the rain seemed like it would never stop. He felt his phone buzzing, so he took it out and answered it.

''Harvey Specter.'', he said, with a slight smile on his face.

''Where were you all morning?'', it was Jessica. She sounded both annoyed and amused.

''Ah Jessica, how nice to hear your voice.''

''Harvey, where were you?''

''Fine, if you really must know, I was preparing for my big fiasco with the Remmingtons who, imagine this, _took_ the deal!'', Harvey gloated, full of himself.

''You really are a piece of work.'', Jessica replied, clearly laughing.

''Love you too.'', Harvey grinned and hung up. He stuffed his cellphone back in his pocket, but right when he did, it rang again. He rolled his eyes and answered it again.

''Jessica, come on, I closed the deal, cut me some slack, will you?'', Harvey spoke.

''Mr. Specter?'', there was an unfamiliar female voice on the other side of the line. 

''Yes. Who is this?'', Harvey asked, not recognizing the voice.

''I'm dr. Aislin Scott. I'm calling because you are listed first as Mike Ross' emergency contact.'', the woman said again. Harvey's skin crawled.

''Emergency conta- what happened?'', Harvey stopped walking, and felt his heart pound faster.

''Mr. Ross fainted on the street, and the passangers called an ambulance. If you could come to the hospital, I'd be able to tell you more.''

''Tell me he's fine.''

''Mr. Specter, please just-''

'' _Tell me!_ '', Harvey yelled in the middle of the street.

''When Mr. Ross woke up, he was coughing too much. The tests we ran on him showed that...'', the woman took a long pause.

''That what??'', Harvey was losing his nerves.

''Mr. Ross has a heavy form of pneumonia.''

There it was. Right when you think that your day can't be ruined by anything, there's always that one thing that takes the lead. Harvey froze on the spot. His hand was trembling, causing him to almost drop his phone. This couldn't be happening. Not before their wedding. Not before Mike's favorite day. It wasn't fair.

''Mr. Specter?'', the doctor said after a long pause. Harvey twitched and cleared his throat.

''Uh, yeah, I'm here. Which hospital?''

 

 

Ray was fast. He dropped Harvey off at the hospital in two minutes. That man was a tresure, really. But Harvey's focus was only on Mike now. He just wanted Mike to be fine, healthy and safe. But reality screwed that wish up. Otherwise he wouldn't be here, at the reception, asking which room Mike Ross was in. The receptionist lady was very nice; her long brown hair fell over her right shoulder, it looked like a waterfall really. Her smile was warm and promising, even though this was the first time Harvey saw her. After recieving instructions from that lovely receptionist, Harvey headed for the stairs. Room 45 didn't seem so far away at first, but considering that the rooms of this hospital were enormous, it was very far away.

He was climbing the stairs until he found a table saying ''Infection ward'', and headed down that hall. Room 41, 42, 43,... Finally, he found room 45. He swung the door wide open and flew into the room. The room was smaller than the other ones. It had one window and white curtains, a white shelf with a bunch of plants on it, a small TV and an extra chair.

''Harvey!'', he heard Mike's weak voice from the left. He turned his head and felt his insides twist; Mike was in a bed, with a cannula stuck to his nose, a thousand pillows behind his head to keep him straight, and a lot of tubes stuck to his arm. Someone might as well have grabbed his heart, ripped it to shreds and stomped on it, because seeing Mike in this condition felt exactly the same.

''Mike...'', Harvey let out, rushing over to him, hugging him tightly. Mike laughed and hugged him back. He was wearing nothing but a thin hospital robe, just like any other patient. As Harvey wrapped his hands around Mike, he noticed how bony Mike's body felt. He straightened up and cupped his face. 

''You okay?'', he asked, despite the fact that he was in a hospital bed, with a cannula in his nose. But Mike seemed fine. He smiled and nodded. 

''Yeah, I'm good. This cannula is a bit too much, I think, but it's easier to breathe really.'', he said, not taking the smile off of his face. Harvey exhaled and smiled in relief, seeing how positive Mike was.

''What the hell, man, why were you in the street??'', Harvey pulled a chair and sat next to Mike's bed. He grabbed his hand with both of his.

''I wanted to get some air, 'cause the apartment smothered me a bit. And then, I don't know, I felt weak and I started coughing.. That's the last I remember.'', Mike explained, returning the grip on Harvey's hands, although it was very weak. Harvey deeply sighed, raising Mike's hand up to his face and kissing it.

''Harvey, I'm gonna be fine. They just said that they'd run some stupid tests on me, and then I'll be free to go. Don't worry.'', Mike was so optimistic. He leaned forward and cupped Harvey's face. ''I love you.'', Mike said with determination. ''And I'm not missing our wedding for the world. Got it?'', he said, staring deeply into Harvey's eyes. It would've been so easier to believe that had Mike's hands been warmer. Harvey closed his eyes and closed the distance between their foreheads.

''I love you too. Just... Just be okay.'', Harvey whispered, his voice trembling a little. He heard Mike grin and felt his thumbs caress his cheeks.

''Mr. Specter?''

Harvey was forced to separate himself from Mike. He got up and threw one last look at Mike before exiting the room. He closed the door and looked at the doctor.

''I'm dr. Aislin, sir.'', the woman said. Her blonde hair was tied in a neat ponytail, and her face was gentle and feminine. Just like the lady at the reception, she had the most calming smile, very comforting. Harvey wondered if every employee in the hospital had the ability to calm people down just by smiling.

''Yes, hi. Any news?'', Harvey asked, rubbing his face with his hand.

''We got the x-ray results back. His heart is enlarged and his lungs are visibly filling up with fluid. Because of the fluid, oxygen is unable to reach the bloodstream. According to what he told us, his weight dropped 10 lbs, which is typical for this illness.'', the doctor explained, her smile no longer visible. Harvey knew where this was going. But he didn't want to believe it. He was silent for a few moments, but then took a deep breath again.

''So what happens now?'', he asked, hoping that the answer will be positive. The doctor shifted in her spot, looking down at her shoes for a moment, but then raising her head back up.

''Mr. Specter.... I'm sorry, but I'm afraid we can't do much. Mr. Ross is one of the extraordinary cases. We rarely see serious pneumonia develop this fast. The only thing we can do is try to suck a part of the fluid out of his lungs, and give him one last Christmas.'', the doctor spoke with such sympathy in her voice that it annoyed Harvey. _One last Christmas_. No. This can't be his last Christmas. He was supposed to have so many more Christmases, with Harvey and all their friends. His vision got blurried. He was nodding, but didn't understand a thing. He was standing, but he wanted to crash down. He was alive, but he wanted to be dead. The doctor reached out and stroked his arm, slowly turning and walking away. Harvey was left standing alone. His eyes were open, but all he saw was darkness. It would be okay if Mike was holding his hand in that darkness, but Mike wasn't there. Mike was in room 45, ignorant of what was happening with his body. Ignorant that this is his last Christmas. Ignorant that the wedding was off. 

Harvey walked over to a bench right across Mike's room, sat down and stared at the floor, leaned with his elbows on his knees. Despite his mind being completely blank, his eyes kept leaking tears, one after another. And then came another phone call. Harvey didn't move for a few seconds, but something in him told him to answer it. So he took the phone out and flipped it open.

''Harvey?? Harvey, are you okay? Where are you?'', it was Donna. Her voice was almost broken from how much it was trembling.

''Hospital.'', that was the only word Harvey could say. And then the call ended. Harvey wasn't the one who hung up, but couldn't care less about one freaking phone call. This was going to be a world without Mike Ross. Every day he's going to have to walk into his office, with no smiling face to greet him. Every day he's going to have to do the job which he and Mike did best together. His home won't be home anymore, not without Mike. How did this happen? Why did this happen? And then it hit him; Mike was soaking wet, and wanted to change into dry clothes. But Harvey insisted. And Mike caught a cold. The cold turned to a simple fever. The fever and the cold together brought pneumonia.

It was his fault.

Had he not insisted that night, Mike wouldn't have gotten sick. Harvey's heart started beating fast, and his head was screaming all kinds of names to himself. He couldn't stand it anymore; he stuffed his face in his hands, letting his rage and sorrow out with sobs that would crush anyone if they heard it. To say that Harvey was falling apart was too little. He was dying while still living.

All of a sudden, he felt a strong grip around his shoulders. He could smell a familiar perfume; Donna was tightly holding him. How did she get here so fast? Or maybe Harvey was here for far too long, but didn't notice because his world was crushed.

''Harvey, hey, look at me!'', Donna was saying, but Harvey didn't move; there were no sobs heard from him anymore. He didn't want to come back to reality. Donna grabbed his hands and pulled them down by force.

''Harvey!!'', she yelled, voice cracking.

He raised his head and looked her in the eyes; his eyes were red, his face wet and hopeless. The sight made Donna tear up.

''How am I supposed to live without him? How?'', Harvey spoke, throat closing with every word, on the verge of breaking down in tears. Donna sobbed, stroking his face.

''I know, love, I know..'', she said, her eyes slowly turning into waterfalls. She threw herself around Harvey's neck, stuffing her face in his neck, breaking down herself. Harvey wasn't much better himself. He wrapped his hands tightly around Donna, his sobs absorbed by her shoulder.

 

Two days before Christmas. And Harvey Specter didn't want to live anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so you should definitely listen to ''My Love'' in the second part of the chapter, because you won't understadn the text. 
> 
> Oh, and the Italic parts are memories. Just so you don't get confused. ;)
> 
> I hope I managed to capture as much emotion as possible, because I was really trying hard. 
> 
> And sorry for any mispellings, this one was really long. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading, make sure you tell me what you think! Enjoy!

''Heey, how are you doing?'', Harvey entered Mike's room again, sounding very optimistic. Mike's face lit up, he just wanted Harvey back with him.

''What took you so long?'', Mike joked, but noticed that Harvey's eyes were very red and puffed. ''Harvey, what's wrong?'', he asked, smile disappearing from his face.

Harvey was still smiling, excellently hiding the fact that he's hurting. ''Nothing's wrong, why would you think that?'', he said, sitting down to the chair next to Mike's bed again.

Mike raised an eyebrow. ''Your eyes are red, your face is flushed and you're all puffed. You look as if you were...'', Mike was talking, but noticed that Harvey's smile disappeared. ''You were crying?? Okay Harvey, cut the crap, what the hell's going on?'', he said, straightening up in his bed. Harvey took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

''Mike.. We have to delay the wedding.'', Harvey said, opening his eyes to look at Mike's. Mike frowned.

''Okaay.. But you wouldn't cry over that.'', Mike was observing Harvey with both fear and curiosity. ''Can you tell me what's going on already?''

Mike's eyes made Harvey's heart shatter again. He remembered he might never see them again. He only had a certain amount of time with him. His body trembled at the thought of it.

''Mike.. I love you so much. Please, just.. Just know that.'', Harvey said, on the edge again. He took Mike's hand, holding it tight again. Mike was very confused now.

''Harvey, you're scaring me.''

''You're.. You're diagnosed with pneumonia. And it's affecting your lungs faster than it does to other patients.'', Harvey said, holding Mike's hand the whole time. Mike was staring at Harvey, his mouth slightly open; Harvey didn't want to be the one telling him, but he also wanted to be here with him and not waste any second of their time left together. But despite Harvey's expectations of Mike's reaction, Mike just gulped and blinked twice.

''So it's true after all.. I had my hopes up, but I didn't know it was possible for me to..'', Mike started talking, but he suddenly got dizzy, and crashed back down into his pillows. Harvey jumped up and cupped his face, trying to get him to open his eyes.

''Mike? Mike, hey, come back to me, Mike!!'', Harvey was yelling, but it was in vain. Mike's body was completely relaxed, and his eyes were still closed. ''Fuck...'', Harvey let Mike's face go and immediately tried to find the emergency button. It was hanging down right next to Mike's head, and he pressed it three times. Fascinatingly fast, two nurses ran into the room, surrounding Mike. One was checking the monitors, while the other one was forcefully opening Mike's eyes, trying to call him back. Donna ran in as well, grabbing Harvey's hand and pulling him out of the room, despite his struggling.

The nurses were in the room for far too long. Harvey was pacing back and forth in front of the room, his panic growing by the second. Donna was sitting on the bench, just staring at the floor, completely absent.

Finally, after an hour, one of the nurses came out.

''He's stable. The infection that's increasing inside of him is draining all of his energy, and he exhaused himself, hence the fainting.'', the nurse said, without the calming smile on his face. ''We attached the  Donna looked up, and Harvey frowned and spread his arms.

''How did he exhaust himself, we were just talking!'', Harvey asked, feeling even more guilty than before.

''I know, sir, but his mind... It takes much more energy to operate with that brain than a regular one. We believe he stressed himself out by thinking too much, or he recieved some bad news and it shook him.'', the nurse explained.

Harvey's eyes flew wide open. ''I told him he had pneumonia.'', he grabbed his head in regret. Donna stood up and put her hand on Harvey's shoulder.

''Harvey, I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but... He had doubts that it was pneumonia. He was expecting it. It's not your fault, he knew this was coming!'', Donna tried to comfort him. Harvey closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to pull himself together; what use is he to Mike if he's a crying wreck?

''You can see him now, but don't overload him with information. He needs to rest. We used the bronchoscope on him to suck out the part of the liquid that was in his lungs, so he is very tired now.'', the nurse said and nodded as a dight of goodbye. Harvey nodded back and opened the door, entering the room quietly.

The second nurse was still in there, adjusting something on the monitors. Mike was awake, and he held a hand on his throat, his face with a disgusting expression.

''Hey, babe, how are you?'', Harvey approached him and ran his hand through his hair, smiling softly. Mike frowned and tapped on his throat.

''They just shoved a pipe down my throat, it feels weird. I was out, but still, the feeling is still here and it's just... Ugh.'', Mike stuck his tongue out, making Harvey laugh.

''I thought you were use to getting pipes down your throat.'', Harvey leaned in and whispered, recieving a laugh from Mike.

''Yeah, well, guess your pipe wasn't big enough.'', Mike whispered back, earning himself a gasp from Harvey.

''Mike Ross, you son of a bitch.'', Harvey said, waving his head. Mike grinned directly into his face, causing him to smile again. The nurse took off, and Harvey continued stroking his head, basically lulling him to sleep, without the lullaby of course.

 

 

A couple of hours passed by, and it was 2 am. Donna knocked silently on the door and entered. Harvey was still awake, not leaving Mike's side.

''Hey.. How is he?'', she asked with the volume close to a whisper. Harvey smiled at her; she cared so much about Mike. She was taking care of him since the start; she was the first to find out that Mike was a fraud, and she told no one. Even when Mike fell into some deep problems, she was always there, offering her services, trying to help in any way. Harvey loved her for that. She was the best friend a person could ever wish for.

''He's exhausted. But he's still positive. Freaking kid...'', Harvey said, switching his eyes from Donna to Mike.

''You know, he doesn't like being called that way.'', she teased Harvey, dragging another chair silently and sitting down. Harvey snickered.

''Yeah, well... He was a kid when I met him. he'll always be my kid.'', the words were just devastating to hear. The thought of Mike being gone attacked Harvey's mind again, and he gave his best to just enjoy this time that he has left. He heard Donna dig through her bag.

''By the way,..'', she said, taking out a small package. ''This is for him, his Christmas present from you.''

Harvey took the small package, wrapped in off-white paper with a golden ribbon. ''Donna... Thank you.''

Donna smiled and placed her hand on Harvey's.

''I have a plan.'', she whispered, with a smirk across her face. Harvey turned his head to look at her, raising his eyebrow.

''Oh, _this_ I gotta hear.'', he said, laughing silently. Donna frowned and punched him in the arm, but later smiled herself.

''Christmas is tomorrow- well, actually it's the day after tomorrow, but now it's past midnight, so yeah, tomorrow.'', Donna was babbling, but when she noticed Harvey's sharp look, she cleared her throat. ''Okay so, considering Mike's condition, he can't go anywhere. And I'm not letting him...'', she paused for a moment, blinking and taking a deep breath. ''I'm not letting him _leave_ us without marrying you first.''

Harvey frowned. ''Donna, it's impossible to transfer him anywhere.''

''I know.'', she said. ''That's why we're gonna bring the wedding to him.''

 

 

The sun came up, but clouds were in its way. Harvey didn't like that. He didn't like it all. But Mike didn't mind it. Mike loved rain. His favorite weather was a storm with lightnings. The irony of everything was that he got sick _because_ of his favorite weather. Harvey was standing next to the window in Mike's hospital room; he didn't get sleep, not even a second. Knowing how bad Mike's condition was, he couldn't allow himself to lose one minute of being with him. His eyes were focused on the dead cherry tree outside the window, in the hospital yard. But his mind drifted off.

 

_''Mike, for Christ's sake, will you get back in here?'', Harvey yelled, his whole office echoing. He only heard Mike's laughter from the hallway._

_''No, you come over here!'', Mike yelled back, successfully bouncing one of Harvey's basketballs. Yes, Harvey allowed him to take one for a run. But he didn't think Mike would be so dumb to take it on a test run in the freaking office. Harvey turned his head to see his boyfriend; yeah, he was perfect for Harvey. With his priceless smile, his perfect body, and even more perfect personality,... Mike Ross was perfect._

_Harvey  made a decision, and promised himself; he's never letting Mike go._

 

 

Mike was still asleep, and it was already 4pm. Harvey didn't eat, nor did he go out to get some fresh air. The biggest distance he crossed was to go to the bathroom, and the door to it were right across Mike's bed. He didn't drink much either. He was either sitting next to Mike, or staring out the window. And then, Donna flew in, filled with energy.

''Okay!! So I contacted everyone, they're all coming tomorrow! They said they couldn't think of a better way to spend Christmas.'', Donna said, smiling. Harvey turned to her and grinned.

''Yeah, they could. But It's nice of them to show up at least.'', Harvey said, looking back at Mike. ''Who's gonna sing?''

''Rachel. She offered herself, and she's a wonderful singer.'', Donna replied, her smile slowly fading away. ''Harvey, are you sure that's a good idea? You'll be bro--''

''I don't care about me. He told me he wanted that to be the first song to play at our wedding, and I'm gonna respect that.'', Harvey was determined.

 

_''Oh come ooon, it's the perfect song!'', Mike pleaded, with his sunshine-like smile on his face. Harvey frowned._

_''It's for girls!'', Harvey refused, stuffing his face back in his newspaper. Mike laughed._

_''We're gay, and you're worried about a song being too girly?'', Mike was still laughing. ''Harvey, I can officially say- you're an idiot.''_

_''Mike, if you want that song to play at our wedding, you should be a bit nicer.'', Harvey said, raising an eyebrow while reading his paper. Mike snickered and walked over to him. He grabbed his paper, ripped it out of his hands and mounted him, placing each knee on each side of Harvey. He wrapped his hands around Harvey's neck and leaned forward, kissing him, each second getting more passionate. Their tongues were fighting for dominance, and it seemed that Harvey was winning. The kiss was hot, but Mike backed his head away to stare into Harvey's eyes._

_''How's that?'', Mike asked and grinned. Harvey already gave into Mike's lead, he just wanted more of what Mike just gave him._

_''Good boy.''_

 

 

It was half past 5pm, and Harvey was now reading a book. He just found it on the dresser that contained way too many plants. He didn't know who's it was, since it was the only book there, but it was interesting. More interesting than the spanish TV channels on the mini television anyway. He turned a page, but heard a lot more noise than just his page turn. He looked over at Mike; he woke up.

''Hey, sport. You okay?'', Harvey closed the book without hesitation and leaned towards the bed. Mike was shifting in his bed, and he didn't look comfortable.

''I feel... weak.'', Mike said, with a frown on his face. Harvey grabbed his hand again.

''Well it was about time, the doctors started to worry you might be something unnatural.'', Harvey joked, trying to get the best out of the situation. But Mike didn't laugh.

''I don't... I don't even feel like I can talk.. It's.. It's hard.'', Mike said through breaths. Harvey's body filled up with tension again; his health was getting worse by the second. Rest was supposed to help him, not make him feel worse.

''Well, wait until you hear the good news. We're gonna get married after all.'', Harvey said, gently stroking Mike's head. Mike raised his head to look at Harvey a bit better; his eyes lit up.

''W-what?? How?'', Mike looked so happy, Harvey felt like he was going to melt.

''Donna. She can do everything, remember?'', Harvey's smile stretched across his whole face. ''I even told her to find a singer to perform that song of yours.'', he said, winking. Mike laughed from joy and gave his best to straighten up and hug Harvey, so happy that he could touch the sky. Harvey was careful not to press him too hard, because the bones that he felt a few days ago were nothing compared to the bony structure he felt now. The hug lasted long, but when Mike pulled away, his breath was very short. Harvey helped him lay back down, and helped straighten the pillows up.

''But.. How is that possible? I though.. I thought I couldn't go anywhere.'', Mike barely let out. Harvey kept stroking his head, his other hand holding Mike's hand.

''I know. That's why we're bringing the ceremony here. We're gonna be married, baby. We'll finally get what we wanted.'', Harvey got lost in the silver blue eyes that kept staring at him like it was the last thing they were going to see.

''Harvey, that.. That's beautiful.'', Mike said, his eyes slowly closing. Harvey shushed him and pulled the blanket up to Mike's neck, covering him whole. Mike was happy. Despite the horrible situation, Mike was still happy. Harvey couldn't control his tears; his eyes filled up again, right as Mike fell asleep again. Such a gentle soul doesn't deserve this fate. He was the best thing that ever happened to Harvey, and now it was slipping out of his hands.

 

* * *

 

 

Harvey got a bit of sleep on the Christmas Eve. Six hours were enough for him, considering that he didn't want to sleep much. Every moment with Mike was cherishable now. The morning cam. Harvey woke up to the sound of rain pounding on the window. It was Christmas morning, and the day of their wedding. Harvey didn't know how he felt about that; he was thrilled that they were getting married when planned, but the fact that this might by Mike's last day... No, he just couldn't think about that. He stood up from his chair and leaned over Mike, landing a soft kiss on his forehead.

''Wake up, babe. It's Christmas.'', his voice was soft, and his touch gentle. Mike slowly opened his eyes, immediately putting a smile on his face.

''Ah, my favorite day and my favorite weather.'', he said with a sleepy voice, noticing the rain on the window. Harvey snickered and kissed him again.

''Yeah, well,...'', Harvey said and bent down to reach something from beneath the bed. Mike was observing him with confusion. He straightened up; his hands were holding the small package that Donna brought him. Mike's eyes flew wide open.

''I can't believe this, you actually got me a present! How, though? I didn't think you left the room.'', Mike was laughing, coughing here and there. Harvey was laughing too, but then shrugged his shoulders.

''Donna brought it.'', Harvey said with a guilty voice. ''Come on, you know that I suck at buying presents.'', he added, and made Mike laugh even more.

''Yeah, you do suck at that..'', Mike replied, earning a sad look from Harvey, but he just stretched his arm and pulled Harvey closer to kiss his cheek. Having Harvey smile again, he began to unwrap the gift. He took the top of the box off; it was a piece of cotton with two rings lying on it. Mike was staring at it for a moment and then raised his look to Harvey, who had the same expression as Mike.

''Donna, that cunning little--'', before Harvey could even finish his sentence, the room door flew open, Donna running inside.

''MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVE BIRDS!'', she was completely enthusiastic. Mike laughed loudly, but sadly it made him cough again. Harvey placed a hand on his back, knowing that he can't help, but he knew Mike hated feeling alone; Harvey will do anything to stop that from happening ever again. Especially today, on their wedding day.

Donna wasn't the only one; Louis, Jessica, Rachel, Ray and even Amy, Mike's ex-personal secretary, they were all there. There was even a nurse that came in, probably just to take care of Mike. Donna was wearing a beautiful blue gown. Blue was truly her color, that's what Mike always said. But her hair was braided, the braid falling over her left shoulder. She looked amazing. Louis has his senior partner suit on. He thought it was his best suit, and this was a very important day for his friend, so he did his best to show that he cares. Jessica was elegant as usual, in a tight black skirt, and a yellow tunic that created perfect harmony between her curves and the tunic itself. Ray was in his usual suit, but his hair looked a bit different than usual. Rachel, though, looked stunning. Her fiery red dress stretched to her knees, showing off her tiny legs. Her hair was up in a bundle, and Mike never saw her with that kind of a hairstyle. They all looked beautiful, but Mike didn't care about how they were dressed. They were the most important people in his life, and they were the only people he wanted on his wedding.

''Mike! You excited? It's your freaking wedding day!'', Rachel was practically jumping around his bed, her smile looking like a ray of sunshine on that rainy day. Harvey laughed and got up, hugging Jessica tightly. Louis walked over to Mike's bed, congratulating him on the wedding. Mike couldn't stop smiling; his heart was enormous, sadly, in both literal and figurative way. Harvey separated from Jessica, just to get hugged by Louis. He was a bit surprised, but it was Christmas and his wedding day. One hug wouldn't harm him. So he returned the hug.

''Hey hey, someone help me here with this!'', Donna was shouting from across the room, as she took out a big white table cloth and spread it across the small table they had in the room. Rachel took one of the plants from the dresser and placed it on the middle of the table, making a 'ta-da' gesture towards the newly weds, making them both laugh.

''Wait, aren't we one minister short?'', Harvey noticed; there was no one to legally pronounce them husbands.

''Actually,'', Ray stepped up in front of the bed, ''I have the powers to put two people in holy matrimony, believe it or not.'', he said, smiling. Harvey raised an eyebrow at him. ''Don't ask.'', Ray laughed and turned to Donna.

''When can we begin?'', he whispered to her, so no one else would hear. She hesitated for a second, but then nodded.

''Okay, you can start.'', she said, slowly approaching the bed. Her eyes were locked on Mike; the thought of Mike leaving crushed her insides. But if she started crying now, it would ruin the happy wedding the two deserve to have. It wasn't fair.

''Gather 'round, gather 'round!'', Ray called cheerfully, standing right in front of the bed. ''Oh, that's right..'', Ray said, took his jacket off, and handed it to Harvey.

''Put it on, you'll look like a real groom then.'', Ray winked. Harvey did as he was told to; he put the jacket on, immediately looking more elegant.

''Right, so..'', Ray began with his speech.

''Friends and Family of Mike and Harvey, welcome and thank you for being here on this important day.''

Harvey took Mike's hand in his own, holding it tightly, not taking his eyes off of his boy. It wasn't fair.

''Marriage will allow you a new environment to share your lives together, standing together to face life and the world, hand-in-hand.''

Donna was smiling, but her eyes were red, soaked with tears. They all knew. They all knew that this was Mike's last day. Last adventure. Last chance to be happy. Last everything. It wasn't fair.

''To be successful, you will need strength, courage, patience and a really good sense of humor.''

Louis laughed loudest. But his eyes weren't dry either. This all happenned too sudden. Only ten days ago they were all standing in Harvey's office, arguing around the Remmington case. It didn't matter if they argued or not, really. What mattered was that they were all alright. And now they weren't. Their youngest brother was sick. The youngest member of the family was dying. It wasn't fair.

''All you have to do is simply love one another and that love shows through in everything you do for one another, how you treat each other, in good times and bad.''

Rachel was done. Her make-up was all over her cheeks, lead there by her tears. She tried to silent her sobs, but it didn't work. Her body was trembling. She looked at Harvey, she observed how he held it all in, how strong he pretended to be. His pride didn't allow him to show tears in front of them. She looked at Mike; he was so peaceful. His eyes were slowly closing, but he was fighting so hard to keep them open..

''Love is genuine, honest, and open, compassionate and kind, passionate and blind, love doesn’t know space or time, nor look through jealous eyes, and in the modified words of Paul in his letter to the Corinthians, “ _Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never dies._ ”''

Amy was smiling all the way until Ray said those three last words. _Love never dies._ That's right. But people do. And the most horrible fact of all is that people suffer, and they suffer _because_ love never dies. She imagined Harvey after today; it broke her. Her eyes truned into small waterfalls, and she tried very hard to hide her tears with her hands.

''Maid of honour, do you have the rings?'', Ray asked, turning to Donna, who tried to wipe her tears away, but it was far too obvious.

''I have them.'', Harvey said and took the box of Mike's present from the counter next to the bed.

''Do you, Harvey Reginald Specter, take Michael James Ross to be your lawfuly wed husband, 'till...'', Ray gulped. '''Till death do you part?''

Harvey looked at Mike and cupped his face with his hand, looking deeply into his exhausted eyes. ''I do.''

''And do you, Michael James Ross, take Harvey Reginald Specter to be your lawfuly wed husband, until death do you part?''

Mike slightly giggled. ''I do.'', he let out, almost without voice. Harvey observed every inch of his face; he never wants to forget any detail from that angelic face.

''Then, by the power invested in me by the State of Oregon, I pronounce you husband and husband!'', Ray said, forcing every fiber of his body to sound cheerful.

''You may now kiss.''

Harvey heard the advices from the doctors - it would be best to not kiss an infected person. But what good is a world without Mike? If he got an infection, he wouldn't care. Harvey gently placed his hands on Mike's cheeks, and lowered himself, just to capture Mike's lips one last time. _One last time_.

The kiss was long, and everyone was silent. The only sound present was the noise of the rain crashing on the window. Harvey's tears crossed over to Mike's face; he was sobbing under the kiss. His body was shaking, realising the fact that this was the last time they would ever kiss. Nothing could comfort Harvey now. But he had to stay strong. For Mike. He was his responsibility. He was his associate. He was _his love_.

Rachel stepped forward and took a deep breath.

 

'' _My love, leave yourself behind,_

 _Beat inside me, leave you blind_.''

 

''My love... You're my love..'', Harvey whispered, separating their lips just an inch. Mike's eyes were barely open. The light out of those bright blue gems was slowly fading away. But Rachel's voice was like he heard an angel sing. His mouth stretched into a smile.

''I.. I love you...'', his voice was gone. There was only air coming out of his mouth. Harvey smiled through the tears, and stroked Mike's cheeks with his thumbs.

''I love you too. You were amazing, you know? I never told you how amazingly you did your job.'', Harvey was barely able to speak. But he had to stay strong. For Mike.

 

'' _My love, you have found peace._

 _You were searching for relief_.''

Mike's eyes had a cristal shine; a single tear drop rolled off of his smiling face onto Harvey's thumb. ''The song.. You.. You arranged it..''

''I did, love, I did. Anything for you. I love you.''

The monitors were beeping slower and slower. Mike's heartbeat rate was dropping.

 

'' _You gave it all,_

_Gave into the call._

_You took a chance and_

_You took a fall for us_.''

 

Rachel's voice was truly angelic. her eyes were closed, in order to not cry. The song had to be perfect, for Mike. He turned his head to look at her; he only saw her sillhouette, with the light of the window shining behind her. He blinked with his almost closed eyes, two more tears falling out.

''I love you.'', Harvey whispered, leaning his head onto Mike's chest.

 

'' _My love, leave yourself behind_

_Beat inside me, leave you blind._

_My love, look what you can do._

_I am mending, I'll be with you_.''

 

''I'm.. I'm happy, Harvey.. I love you.. Remember that...'', Mike pushed out, barely raising his hand, only to place it on Harvey's head. Donna was shedding tears like never before; Louis wasn't any better either. Amy held a hand over her mouth, eyes stuck on the two goodbying lovers.

Mike's words were a scar written into Harvey's heart. ''I don't want you to go.'', his voice was broken, not able to control his shaking body.

''Don't go.''

 

'' _My love beat inside me_

 _My love_..''

 

''Please don't go, Mike..''

 

'' _I know in peace you'll go._

 _I hope relief is yours_.''

Then the monitor sounded. And the noise was loud. Rachel's voice got lost in the long, periodical beep. Donna sobbed and screamed. Rachel stopped, losing herself in grief. Louis wrapped his arms around Donna, having his heart broken himself. Jessica trembled, fighting the urge to sob out loud. Amy's sobs were as loud as Donna's;

but no one was as dead inside as Harvey.

The nurses ran into the room, two of them trying to move Harvey away. But he stayed. He didn't let go. He couldn't let go.

''Harvey.. Harvey, it's done, there's nothing you can do..'', Jessica pressed his shoulders, trying to move him. ''He's gone.. Harvey, please..'', her voice was broken as well.

''No.. I'm- I'm not leaving him alone. He's dead because of me, I have to stay.'', Harvey protested. The nurses grabbed him stronger and started pulling.

''No, no, let me go, I can't leave him alone!!'', his shattered voice was screaming, but his heart was already long gone. Mike is gone.

 

Mike is gone.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

It was the day after Christmas.

It was cloudy.

No sun.

Just clouds.

No wind.

Just clouds.

No rain.

Just clouds.

 

 

No Mike.

 

 

Just Harvey.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> This part of the story was inspired by Tumblr user wotarivaeren, her short picture-story about Levi and Eren is to die for.


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